Just because you have a thought, does not mean that it is true”, I heard Dr. Joe Dispenza said once. Humans have approximately 12 thousand thoughts per minute, 80% of those are thoughts that we repeatedly think, and we are mostly unaware of. If I repeatedly think “I am incompetent”, consciously and unconsciously, my behavior in all the roles I play will be incompetent, then I will feel bad about myself, then I keep behaving the same way. The key to know, is that all of that can be changed, and one way is by redirecting our thoughts.
So the first step to redirect our thoughts is awareness. Be aware of the kind of thought that you are having, does it hurt you? Create suffering? or support you? The best way to notice what kind of thoughts you are having, is seeing how you are feeling. Our feelings are a lens that guide us to be clear on the type of thought we are having. Once you are aware, you can start taking away the power of those thoughts that create suffering (“Mind Muck”) and allow more room for supportive thoughts, “Glow Thoughts”.
As parents we experience overload most of the time with the pressures of work, family, bills, health etc. It is for sure one of the most challenging roles we can play and yet one of the most rewarding ones. It takes courage, and constant attention to the quality of our thoughts, and regulation of those through recognizing our feelings and emotions to gather more joy from this role.
How we feel, is simply a reflection of what we are thinking. So in wanting to change the way we feel about a situation, change the way you think about it! How to do that? first stake a PAUSE, breath deeply three times, check in for any discomfort you may feel, breath attentively in that area where you feel the discomfort and then ask, what should I do about this? the answer will come... either talk to a spouse or another family or someone you trust; getting clarification from the children; research; clarity comes when we pause and go within.
Another way to amplify the joy of parenting, is focusing on the positives. Everyday right down or make a mental note of the positives of being a parent that day. Note three things that took place, and revise that list at the end of the week. Sometimes the days seem impossible, but looking at this list will remind you that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
So joy, is a choice. Experiencing the joy of parenting takes and extra effort when so much is on our shoulders, but it is certainly doable!